Saturday, June 11, 2011

This Is a Test

So, either it’s the water being piped to these guys’ homes and offices, or they’re all drunk. Either way, I have a solution—testing. First we test the waters for psychoactive drugs left over from Abby Hoffman days; then we run monthly urinalysis on anyone with even a finger’s worth of governmental power. We also pee-test brokers, day traders, lawyers, accountants, attorneys, cops and councilmen (and women), car mechanics, sellers of any used vehicles, contractors, land speculators and anyone showing up at your door with a too-good-to-be-true deal to resurface your driveway.  Also, roofers.

The tests will have to be administered randomly and supervised, since I am sure the worthies named above know that clean urine is available on the internet; we don’t anyone doing a switcheroo, and we will probably have to pay people a sensible salary to watch other people pee, but it will be worth it. The tests will not stop what a friend calls “cannon-balling into stupidity” but it may make a dent, and at this point any progress, no matter how small, merits the effort.

All this is necessary because we are really in a downward spiral right now. I’m getting along in age and can’t remember another time when so many have done so little for so few. I am frightened by the fact that more and more loons really believe they are electable, and are willing to spend millions to try their chances. It worries me that issues have become as useful and as disposable as plastic shopping bags. I don’t understand why there are no heroes anymore, of any type—artists, astronauts, soldiers, inventors, statesmen and leaders. Nor do I grasp why such a relatively high percentage of the people we have selected to represent us are crooks, dolts, liars, or a sad combination of all three.

Any thoughts out there? After all, urinalysis is as good as mine…

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